A Demon's Heart
by o0KittyBlue0o
Summary: Her love for him was great, but his love for her was greater. Her selfishness changed the course of time, and he was no longer there to support her. Her heart in pain, and her body changed, she longed for a love that would never return.
1. Chapter 1

This one is for Sugar0o just because it's Sesshoumaru/Kagome! Enjoy!

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><p>"It's her." The whispers had already started, but she paid them no heed, after all, she was use to them by now. "The commoner." She tossed her hair over her shoulder as she passed the many dark haired inu youkai, not caring for their opinions any more. She held her head high, allowing her long flowing tail to curl around both of her shoulders, much like Inu no Taisho's alpha female did with her mokomoko. Unlike the royal family, Kagome chose to store her additional power in a tail rather than something she would simply carry around. She had always liked the idea of a tail, anyway.<p>

Some speculated her way of holding her tail was to hide the fact she bore no markings. They couldn't be farther from the truth. It was a way to hide that she had one, on the back of her neck. The mark of Midoriko's curse. The Shikon no Tama had imbedded itself in her, forcing her to forever carry the burden of protecting it.

Her nose lifted into the air as she proudly made her way into the palace. If she hadn't made that wish, she would still be human, and with InuYasha. However, the wish had been made, selfish as it was, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Why would they call upon her? I heard she was their knew seer."

InuYasha now never existed, and never would. She had seen it in a vision: Izayoi and InuYasha both died that night, before Inu no Taisho ever even knew they were in danger. At the time, she had rushed forward, screaming for him to help Izayoi, but they had not believed her. Sesshoumaru had looked down at her, informing her that her words were a sign that she was a traitor. Later, they would try to get information from her, attempting to torture her.

Sesshoumaru's acid had moved, seemingly on its own, surrounding her, but never touching her. She confessed that the Shikon no Tama would not allow them to kill her, as it's guardian.

That caused a whole new set of questions, but she would not talk to Sesshoumaru or his mother. It took three days, but she looked Inu no Taisho in the eye and told him the truth. "A miko I am, but a demoness as well. A hanyou boy stole my heart, and crushed it, in my pain I had wished to have never met him. My wish was granted, and I hate myself for it." Her chin lifted in the air, despite the fact she was bound and naked. "I killed your son."

When she reached her destination, Kagome lifted her elegant kimono slightly as she turned to face the crowd, never allowing the cold mask to fall.

"On this day, we have defeated the dragon clan head: Ryukotsusei. This battle would have ended in disaster if it weren't for the Throne's Seer. I acknowledge her skills, and her loyalty to her alphas. To act against her will result in death." Inu no Taisho said, standing.

The celebrations began shortly after, and Kagome found herself heading to her rooms, unwilling to participate in such celebrations. She knew Inu no Taisho wished for her to find a mate, however, she was sure she could never love another. InuYasha had stolen her heart and died with it. As she reached her rooms, she allowed a tear to run down her cheek.

She had truly killed him, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Her heart clenched and she began to change herself, having dismissed the handmaidens given to her long before. She would not be waited on hand and foot.

She pulled on a pair of billowing white pants, much like the ones Sesshoumaru wore. Her top was made of fire rat fur, and was an altered version of what InuYasha had worn. It wrapped around her tighter, accenting her curves to an extent, and had slits in the side, leaving fabric to drape down to her knees in front and behind her. Around it's middle was a white obi littered with red cherry blossoms and a single blue moon that rested over her belly button.

She turned and left her rooms then, a passive mask in place. She made her way to the roofs and stared up at the moon.

She had expected him to follow, as he and his mother still did not trust her, nor would they. They didn't accept her role in the pack, because she had secrets. She turned slightly, nodding towards him.

"Lord Sesshoumaru." She acknowledged, but he narrowed his eyes at her. She did not pretend to smile, she simply shook her head. He was always like this.

"This Sesshoumaru demands you tell the truth." Sesshoumaru said and Kagome's eyes drifted over to him.

"I have."

"You are no seer." He said, his knuckles cracking. "Your power is nothing without the Shikon no Tama."

Kagome turned to him. "I will not lie, part of it is because of the Shikon no Tama, but not borrowed nor taken." Her eyes drifted back to the moon. "The Shikon no Tama is nothing but a burden." She seemed to glow under it's light, but he refused to notice such things. She was beautiful, but she was not worth his time. She was scheming, she had to be. She was simply too willing to do as asked, too willing to become a tool. He did not, would not trust her.

Sesshoumaru stared at her for long moments. "Then what is it you wish."

Kagome's eyes turned to him. "I wasted my wish, it resulted in nothing but misery." Her eyes locked onto him. "Though, I suppose, you are happier now than you would have been."

Sesshoumaru bared his teeth. "You know nothing."

Kagome shook her head. "If that were true, Lord Sesshoumaru, then perhaps I could find happiness once more."

"You wish for more power." Sesshoumaru said, lifting his nose. "Disgusting."

Kagome smiled softly. "I guess it could be considered that, in a way." Her sapphire eyes drifted closed and she, for the first time, truly smiled. "Love is the greatest power I have ever come across."

Sesshoumaru scoffed. Kagome's eyes locked onto his, for the very first time, as they reminded her of InuYasha's. Her eyes softened. "I wonder if he would have grown to look more like you with age..."

"You speak nonsense." He said and Kagome sat down, for once letting her tail loose.

"I suppose I do." She paused, allowing herself to chuckle. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you, after all, once upon a time you were involved as well."

He stared down at her, frowning. She was a strange one, but maybe if he got her talking she would reveal to him her plan.

"Once upon a time there was a ningen girl..." A story? How...childish. "She lives several hundred years from now, in a place I am unsure exists any longer."

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at her, a story of the future?

"This girl was like any other ningen, weak and timid, yet she held a power inside of her. She had been born with the Shikon no Tama inside of her body, as the reincarnation of a priestess yet to come." She paused then, thinking. "Truly, I wonder if the priestess will come any longer, as the cause of her death is no longer available. No matter."

"Get on with it." Sesshoumaru snapped, and she smiled.

"You get more patient with time, I see. One day, this girl who had never seen a youkai, was pulled into the distant past by one. That is, our future." She paused again. "I'm unsure how far into the future, I had never known his age, it was hard to tell..." She shook her head. "She met a hanyou, one by the name of InuYasha."

Sesshoumaru's intake of breath was telling. He knew that name, his father had been planning to name the hanyou that name.

"He saved her from certain death, never knowing she would be the cause of his. They faced many trials..." Her eyes glowed a pinkish hue as she stared up at the moon. "And in time she came to love him, even though he was in love with another. The very priestess who's soul was reincarnated as her own." She stood again, adjusting an arm to keep her hair out of her face as wind blew.

"They pulled together a group, mismatched and crazy as they were, to bring down a great evil. An evil that would have never risen up if it weren't for her mistakes." She smiled. "They even went up against the hanyou's older brother a few times, but never did truly defeat him but once." Her eyes drifted to his arm. "He lost a limb, but it never hindered him. Truly, it was only lost due to his inability to see that the need to protect could cause his brother to rise in strength." She looked up at him, his face unbelieving. "Ah, but the brother joined the group int he end." Her eyes closed. "It was due to his help the great evil had fallen, but he could never have guessed that the girl who loved his brother would make a mistake."

Kagome's arms raised, cupping an imaginative Shikon no Tama. "The hanyou unfaithful, she raised the cursed bauble up into the air and made a wish. 'I wish I had never met InuYasha!'" She paused for a moment, her eyes dark as her hands dropped, and she looked at her palms with a sad, pitiful look. "In order to make this happen, she would have to be able to protect herself and the jewel." Her eyes drifted to Sesshoumaru.

"She was reborn as a demon, and no matter how hard she tried, she could not change the truth." She smiled a sad smile, and her head tilted slightly as tears gathered on her lashes, even though her eyes were closed. "She had killed the one she loved." Tears ran down her cheeks, but she still smiled. "And now she is cursed for her selfishness, never to die, never to forget, forever the guardian of the jewel, and forever without InuYasha."

He said nothing as she turned from him, leaving him to his thoughts as she went back to her rooms, no longer taking comfort in the moon that shone overhead.


	2. Chapter 2

This one is for Sugar0o just because it's Sesshoumaru/Kagome! Enjoy!

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><p>"You must walk with more grace, Kagome." Inu no Taisho's voice was stern as he instructed her, forcing her to balance several items on her head, none of them so simple as books. She held in a growl, but still bared her teeth at him...just before she tripped and fell.<p>

She tumbled, and got caught up in her own tail as she did so. She stopped with a grunt and whimpered out like a puppy. The dog general sighed.

"We've a long way to go, if you're truly going to pass as one of the elites..." He grumbled, earning a snort from her.

"I don't _care _about what they think, why do I have to do this?" She asked, glaring at Sesshoumaru, who was watching from the doorway. "And it's totally impolite to peep, you jerk!"

Touga sighed again, wondering what he was going to do about the girl's temper. "Kagome, get up and try again."

"No! This is ridiculous! I've never been graceful! I'm clumsy, it's part of me, the general public can deal!" Kagome ranted as she stood, dusting off the elaborate kimono. "And in a kimono! Do you see how expensive this thing looks! Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean these things? Of course you don't, you don't do your own laundry! This was a proven fact when I saw Jaken washing clothes! Seriously! You guys are just lazy!"

Touga chuckled and Sesshoumaru frowned. Inu no Taisho placed a vase on her head, causing her to quiet down. "Try again, Kagome, if you can manage ten steps I'll let you go for the day. However, you will be practicing daily until you are able to do this alone."

Sesshoumaru snorted. He doubted she'd be able to anytime soon, the little bitch was far too clumsy for her own good.

She sucked in a breath and straightened her back. Shoulders back, for a moment Sesshoumaru watched as she looked everything an elite demoness should...and then she teetered. She rocked and swayed, her arms out to her sides, trying to balance. She gasped and fell forward and pouted up at Inu no Taisho. "It'd be easier if I wasn't wearing this ridiculous outfit!" She said, before her face turned slightly angry. She tore the kimono off, uncaring that she stood in nothing but a thin white under-dress in front of them. Even Sesshoumaru had to force back a slight blush.

"Indecent!" Inu no Taisho said, arms crossed. She glared at him.

"This is _not _indecent! I ran around in a school uniform _this short _fighting you youkai!" She snapped, pulling up her dress to the length of her old skirt. Touga looked shocked, and a bit horrified at the thought.

"With...him?" He asked and Kagome paused, calming down. She smiled lightly.

"I guess it would explain why he would get mad anytime another guy came around." She chuckled, and looked up at the ceiling. No, that wasn't right. She was looking past everything around her and remembering him. "He hated me in miko robes, though. I looked too much like _her." _She stopped and shook her head. "No, it was that he loved it too much when I was in them, because he loved her so much."

She turned her back and walked out, and neither male moved to stop her.

"She will not let go." Touga said to no one and Sesshoumaru snorted.

"It is her own fault."

His eyes turned to his son's and he frowned. "Mistakes are often made, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru snorted, turning his back to his father and leaving. He knew that, however, the foolishness of wishing on the jewel at all was just a small show of her idiocy.


	3. Chapter 3

Zaratsuita Shadow minds kurui sou na hodo

(Buzzing Shadow Minds, On the verge of madness we ask:)

Kagome's hands grasped at her head as she fought it. Fought the little girl she hated so much. Far too naïve, unaware of the bitter woman she had become. She growled as a light rap sounded at the door, this was just perfect. "What?"

The door opened and Touga walked in with a frown. "Kagome, we'll be needing your presence at the next gathering, I'd like you to take a look at the other lords attending, just in case."

_Why can't you just smile a little?_ The voice said and she growled loudly.

"Shut up!" She shook her head, gripping it. "I'm not you!"

Touga's eyes widened as she pushed past him, slamming into the hallway wall before falling, gripping at her chest. "Get out of my head!"

_But...it's my body, too. I'm Kagome, too. _

Who am I? Michibi ite yami no tsukiyo  
>("Who am I?" Leading the way to the night's moon.)<p>

"Shut up!" Sesshoumaru blinked as he heard the yell and turned to investigate. He watched as Kagome snarled, snapping her teeth at his father, rudely demanding he stay away. "Don't touch me!" She yelled as he attempted to bring her back to her room.

_He's only helping us._

"Why can't you just die! _I'm _Kagome!" She screamed, startling Sesshoumaru. His eyes widened as she lashed out wildly, wildly running past him, then out a window. He looked to Inu no Taisho and they both took chase.

By the time they caught up she was calmly sitting in a field of flowers.

Kokochi ii Dark wind mabushikute Shining sky

(A comfortable Dark Wind, A bright Shining Sky.)

She smiled and looked up at them. "She doesn't like me to take over, sorry. I won't be long, I just have to make sure I'm real, too."

"Kagome?" Touga asked and she nodded.

"I'm the human half, you could say I'm the other personality." She smiled at them with teary eyes. "I'm not sure which of us is the real Kagome, but she's more dominant than me." She looked over the body, chuckling as she stood. "Actually, take away the demonic traits and I'd still look like _me. _That's interesting." She twirled around to face them.

"...You are happy." Touga noted and Kagome grinned.

"I'm more accepting of our fate." She pressed her hands to her chest and closed her eyes. "I can feel him here, inside my heart. He's probably in a nice place swearing at me for being stupid and useless." She laughed then, a sad one, but it was nice. "You know, this place reminds me of Rin." She looked around at the flowers. "I wonder if she'll survive without Tensaiga."

Sesshoumaru and Touga blinked and Kagome looked at them with wide eyes, tho she was completely serious as she placed a finger to her lips. "It's a secret."

Soredemo asahi e to kogareru

(But even so, I long for the dawn!)

"You can not tell us?" Touga asked, Sesshoumaru remaining silent as ever. Kagome grinned.

"I could probably tell you, if I told Sesshoumaru Rin may never have a chance to live at all." Kagome said, turning her eyes from the two and dancing in the flowers, picking a few as she went. "She loved flowers the most.." She paused and looked at the flowers in her hands. "Shippou liked them, too."

Kage to hikari ore to omae chikazuiteku

(Shadow and light, you and I. Coming closer!)

"Shippou?" Inu no Taisho was an infinitely curious man, but that was a good thing, or else he'd never make for a good pack leader.

"He was my son, a little kit about this big!" She showed them with her hands and smiled. "He loved sweets and he looked up to InuYasha as an older brother, it brought him much joy that someone saw him that way." Kagome huffed, looking at Sesshoumaru. "You're too stuck up for your own good."

Inu no Taisho laughed, enjoying hearing about the son that never was, though he was sad as well.

Real to Fake ga towareteru  
>(Asking each other..."real" or "fake"?)<p>

Her eyes widened and she frowned. "I want more time. He should know about his son..."

_Get out of my body, bitch!_

Kagome sighed. "Well, I'll save story time for later, Inu no Taisho-sama." She smiled lightly. "InuYasha would have loved you, if you had lived that time around."

He looked shocked as Kagome retreated and the Kagome he knew came out.

Black? White? Nazeka? Nazeka? Kokoro ga

(Black? White? Why? Why? )

She bared her fangs at the two men. "She is not me."

Touga nodded. "No one could confuse the two of you, now come along, I've got to sit through a boring dinner and you need to keep me awake."

"I'm not your maid." She grumbled, but followed along. Sesshoumaru trailed behind them, watching her carefully. She was the closest thing to insane he had ever seen. Still, his father trusted her, and it looked like she wouldn't purposely harm them—either of the personalities.

"Are there more?" Sesshoumaru found himself asking.

「Rashiku iro yo」 to shout shite

(My Heart screams and shouts!)

Kagome paused, looking back at the taiyoukai with a passive expression.

"There is only the two of us." Her smile was bitter as she looked him in the eye. "Black and white without a hint of gray. We are as we are, two perfectly seperated halves. We have our own thoughts and feelings, and we have our own personalities, yet we share memories, a body, and a name. We can not mix, yet we do just the same." She held up her hand and Sesshoumaru blinked, watching as Youki and Miko rose up. They swirled around each other in a sphere, distinctly looking like a Ying-Yang symbol.

Utau yo  
>("Be a color that suits you!")<p>

"You hate her." Touga said and Kagome nodded.

"She is nothing but a foolish child, still hoping to find a love that will never be. The one for us is dead." She said and Touga shrugged.

"You say this, yet you are not thinking about the heat that will take over once mating season comes." He pointed out and Kagome tossed her hair.

"There are only two males that can over power me, Inu no Taisho-sama. You'll be mating with your own mate, and I highly doubt Sesshoumaru-sama will be after me." Kagome lifted her nose in the air. "Even if he does, he is above rape."

Tsuyoku moete iru yozora no orion annafuuni

(Orion in the night sky, burning strongly.)

"You would be all too willing once he started in your heat, Kagome." Touga said with a seriousness that made her suddenly feel insecure. "It will rush forth and demand you be pupped."

Kagome frowned. "Then she can take over if she finds a male she takes interest in, I will have no part in betraying InuYasha."

"He is dead, Kagome." Touga said bluntly and Kagome bared her teeth.

"He is mine, dead or not!" Kagome snapped and Touga turned around, facing her.

"He did not choose you." He countered and Kagome snarled because it was true. He loved the other Kagome, he loved Kikyou.

She was not even part of the equation, no matter how much she wanted to believe she was the original Kagome.

Heart no honoo no omomuku mama ikireba ii  
>(The flames of your heart should be just like that. And it's how you should live.)<p>

"You live in the past, and that in itself is more foolish than anything." Inu no Taisho said, continuing along with Sesshoumaru. Kagome let out a small whimper before she followed.

But the past was where InuYasha was alive.

Zen'aku to gotaku narabe nayami tsukuseba ii sa

(Good and evil talking pompously, you should exhaust the problem.)

Gemini syndrome !


End file.
